Why I Quit Using Kettlebells…

After 12+ years, I’ve just decided they’re no longer for me.

Too hard.

I don’t sweat enough.

I have a secret – I’ve been holding out on you – now it’s time to
come clean…

I’ve been cheating on KBs with…


It’s awesome!

I hope to drop about 40 pounds so I can look like that guy in
the picture. (I’m even going to shave my chest).

Look guys, if you want to pick up chicks, Zumba class is the
place to go.

And ladies, if you want a man, Zumba. Look for the lone one
or two guys that are in the back of the room… (You know why
they’re there…)

Nothing gets my heart beating like a good 90 minute Zumba

Plus, all the bright and vibrant colors make for such a welcome
change to all the black and gray of KBs. (I’m told red looks good
on me – it’s a “warming” color.)

That, and my coordination is really improving. I can actually
almost Salsa now. (Almost.)

I know that if I want to ever go back to the weights, I can actually
use those 2 pound Zumba weights – like maracas – that I can
shake-shake-shake. They really make the shoulders burn.

Much more than presses – even with the double KBs.

Speaking of…

I hope you realized by now that this is just a light-hearted
good-natured, ol’ fashioned April Fool’s joke!

What’s not a joke though is how time-efficient and downright
effective using a pair of KBs is to get wicked strong, pack on
muscle in all the right places, and hack off the unwanted winter
chub –

Without having to go smell other people’s body funk in or seeing
things jiggle that shouldn’t in an enclosed space with music you
don’t really like.

Get strong and lean in less than 2 hours a week here.

Happy April Fool’s!


P.S. Hope you had a good joke or two you got to play on someone
today! Just makes people smile… :-)

P.P.S. No actual Zumba instructors were harmed in the crafting
of this email. Professional KB instructor on a closed course. Stay
in school. Don’t do drugs. (Unless you live in CO were marijuana
is legal. Still don’t do it – depresses your testosterone levels.)

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