When it comes right down to it, kettlebells suck.
You know it and I know it.
You wanna know why?
Because they just sit there, leering at you, daring you
to pick them up and just do SOMETHING – ANYTHING
I mean, we’re sold the proverbial “bill of goods” when
we buy them – thinking they hold “magic powers” or
they’re the “secret” to getting the body you always
wanted or some such nonsense.
The bottom line is that the kettlebell sucks because
it doesn’t do the work for you. Not like that magic
abs vibrating belt you wrap around your waist that
they sell on late night TV.
It just sits there, taking up space, glaring at you.
I have two rows of kettlebells in my studio and 5 at
home – so I can’t escape them. They’re always watching,
glaring, daring me to pick them up.
Saturday, I grabbed one of those b*st*rds by its smug
little handle and swung the holy living heck out of it.
Right there on my back porch for the whole world to
And it didn’t take long either.
115lbs. Sets of 20. Sure, I mixed it in with some sled
dragging, but I still got ‘em.
I wiped that smile off his face.
Who’s laughing now, big fella?
That’s right – me! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…!
Yeah, and I’ll keep on laughing cause you won’t stop
me – no you won’t – I’m going to Swing, Snatch, Clean,
Press, Jerk, and Get Up you to death and then you’ll see –
Yeah, you’ll see who’s smiling then, punk.
…when you look back at me and I trade you in for a bigger
size cause I wore you out.
That’s right – your day’s coming – soon. Very, very soon.
Anyway… I digress…
My point is, don’t let your kettlebells win. Don’t let them
Wear yours out.
P.S. Obviously, this whole email was very tongue-in-cheek –
I haven’t really lost my mind.
Now that’s cleared up, here’s 6+ years of workouts that you
can use to wear your kettlebells out.